Last night, I dreamed I was King…
I lived in a castle made entirely of rawhide bones. Every room had soft couches made for jumping on and toilet paper rolls designed for shredding.
My service staff was composed of cats wearing t-shirts with the saying “Cats Suck.” They would address me as “Sir Wrinklebottom…Your Royal Doginess.” Any sign of disobedience would result in me chasing them around the royal grounds until I catch them and paw them silly.
Meals were done in grandiose fashion with bacon grease served in wine glasses and cocktail sausages hand fed to me by pretty poodles draped in pearl collars.
I declared everyday my birthday and the royal grounds were transformed in a huge dog park filled with bunnies and crows to chase. All the local dogs would come and play and compete to be my best friend.
Then…SNAP!.…Mom awakens me with ” Benny Ya Little Bonehead- Go Outside and Take a Wee.”
Reality Beckons Me