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Life Lesson # 12- Trapped in the Wrong Body.

26 Oct

I always knew that I was different from other pups. I felt trapped and confused and Eureka! I finally figured it out.

I am a TransHuman. A human trapped in a dogs body.

Before you say “poppycock” let me explain my reasoning.

  1. I have never had any desire to eat dog food. Dryed up little kibble served on the floor in a tin dish is disgusting and quite degrading (if you want to know my true opinion). I have always felt a need to eat human food such as Filet Mignon and T-bones steaks.
  2. I prefer the company of humans. I like their smells and they smother me with the attention that I rightfully deserve. Dogs are okay but I do have to tolerate many unacceptable behaviours such a dry humping and theft of personal belongings.
  3. My intelligence sometimes overwhelms me. I have all these wonderful ideas and I am unable to execute them “because I’m a dog.”

The list could go on and on. Let me assure you that this is not a choice…I was born this way…I don’t think I can fight it any longer. I can not continue to pretend to be something I am not.

It’s time that I start exploring some options.

Any suggestions would be helpful…

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6 Comments

Posted by on October 26, 2011 in Life Lessons

 

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6 responses to “Life Lesson # 12- Trapped in the Wrong Body.

  1. snooz

    October 26, 2011 at 10:36 pm

    Dear Mr. Wrinklebottom,

    You are a very talented writer, I very much like your style. I have not laughed that much in a long time. I often wonder what pets are thinking about and I am grateful to be able to read your thoughts.

    I will be sharing your page with all my FB friends, what an awesome read!

    Sending you warm cuddles
    Snooz

     
    • bennywrinklebottom

      October 27, 2011 at 4:57 pm

      I’d like to extend 122 licks your way for your kind words. Thank you for sharing my stories with others.

      xoxo,

      B. Wrinklebottom

       
  2. karen ovitsland

    October 27, 2011 at 6:58 am

    Dear Benny,

    I just have a question.

    Which half is the blind half?

    Also, some advice. It may be better to think of yourself as “half sighted” rather than “half blind”.

    There. I saved you $1,000 on therapy.

    With love,

    Emma

     
    • bennywrinklebottom

      October 27, 2011 at 4:55 pm

      Thank you Miss Emma for your great suggestion. I am now a half sighted terribly handsome boxer.
      xoxo,

      B. Wrinklebottom

       
  3. yashikibuta

    October 27, 2011 at 7:55 am

    And here I thought my babies were the only transhuman species there is. I guess they would need to be counseled by you though because you seem to be more adept at this than they are.

     
    • bennywrinklebottom

      October 27, 2011 at 5:02 pm

      Transhumanism is not uncommon amongst us canines especially us well loved ones. I am very fortunate to be able to express myself.
      Please give your babies a big lick from me.

      xoxo,

      Counsellor B. Wrinklebottom

       

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