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Dear Santa Claus…Part Deux

Dear Santa Claus,

I hope you had time to review my last letter to you. As you can obviously see I am a good guy with only a smidgen of naughtiness in my bones. After much careful consideration I composed a 10 page wish list for your consideration but Mom made me edit it down to one page only (despite the fact that I threw myself on the floor kicking and howling in protest.)

None the less, here it is…

a) A side of beef ribs

b) 13 new stuffies with squeakies that are indestructible

c) A ham

d) Some new running shoes for Mom cause she’s too slow on our walks

e) A solid gold grill for my front two teeth so that I could look like a gangsta (good for my street cred)

f) An electric hoist to raise me up and down to get into the car (why waste the energy jumping)

g) A roast chicken

h) A copy of the movie “Point Break” starring my favorite actor Patrick Swayze

i) A girlfriend so that my friends will be jealous

j) Peace at the Dog Park (mom made me throw that one in- I wanted a pair of sweet sunglasses for cruising the dog park).

That’s the list Santa….If you need more suggestions, please let me know cause I have nine other pages in the recycling bin as we speak.

Much Love,

Benny H. Wrinklebottom.



Posted by on November 30, 2011 in Life Lessons


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Life Lesson #5- Beware the Temptations

Beware the Tempations!

I have very little self control.  When I find something that I really like I will continue to demolish it or consume it until something crazy happens. For example, I will sometimes eat so much grass that i will eventually throw it up or  I will chase a cat even knowing the end result will be me with a bloody nose.

If an ant looks up at me and give me the stink eye, i will stomp him dead. If dad is eating a juicy steak sandwich, I will drool excessively. If the garbage is smelling like it needs someone to root through it..I am the guy for the job.

These are things i can not control. I have tried for short periods of time (about 6 seconds) to control my impulses but thus far have been unsuccessful.

But truth be told…I think self control is over rated.


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Posted by on October 16, 2011 in Life Lessons


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